Dreaming

Our minds are strange things. Especially in our dreams.

Whenever my mind is sorting fear, I dream of something terrible happening to Youngest Daughter. When I am sorting hurt and betrayal, I dream of my ex. When I am in emotional pain, I dream of small animals being hurt and feeling frantic to rescue them. All are disturbing.

Learning the symbolism of my own dreaming has assisted me in separating fact from fiction. What gets to me though is having to learn how I’m feeling through my dreams

As a survivor of abuse, I learnt early on to compartmentalise my feelings, to keep functioning. It took a great deal of effort as an adult to reintegrate myself and learn to recognise each feeling. For example, fear, hunger and nausea felt the same to me as a young woman. It took quite some work to unravel that.

Waking from a dream and recognising the feelings, doesn’t always give me the reason. I do not know why I am feeling hurt and betrayal, it just appears to be something my sleep brain is sorting. It may not even be current. Perhaps it is to do with recently moving house and sorting through memories.

I do pay attention, just not let it take over. My internal night time filing system is a mystery to my daytime logical self.

Enough pondering, things to do.